Alchemist Heels

Dear god, In the last couple of days, I've been happier and I thank you for supporting me all this while. I thank you for giving me all the friends in my life... I appreacite it soo much. God you even opened up steven's hard and calmed him down thank you soo much for that god. I have to say this semester i've worked soo hard and I thank you for allowing me to plow through all of these obstacle and doing well in all of my exams.. dear God i want to pray to you to allow me to get accepted into honours. please allow me to go through honours program in UNSW. i would really appreaciate the opportunity that you would give to me.. Please allow me to get into honours. It is something that i want, and i believe it is also somethign that i can use in the future to help others. God you are all mighty and you are all knowing. You know the right path for me to take. so god please allow me to get into honours for next year. Thank you so much for allowing me to have the best grades i...

A friend told me that you are how you play games, I've noticed that too, he's right though.. I really hate to admit it though.. Perhaps by understanding myself, I can solve all of my problems and get to the root of it all. I get frustrated when I lose = Coz I expect myself to be the best at everything I don't scout as much = Coz I think I already know it all I don't attack as much = Coz I'm scared of challenges and I never think that I'm ready. I use the same strategy over and over again but does not properly analyse the game = Coz I'm lazy, can't be bothered and think everything comes easy. I can't do 2-3 things in one go = I can't multitask I always use the basic unit and try to finish the game ASAP = Coz I have lack of patient and always want to end the game as early as I can. I like hidden expansion = Coz I like getting an advantage before anyone else and not share it with them I like warp prisms drop ship = Coz it is unexpected and ...

So guilty.... I don't want any of my friends to experience hunger... So I don't know what to do... I'll ask him later if he wants to have lunch with me... Its too difficult... I have no money... I just don't know what to do... I feel so guitly.. and tomorrow is my exam... I hope I can finish studying on time.... Please understand my position... Hope you won't let your ego or pride take over you...

Dear Guilt, WHY do you come and destroy me so, WHY am I in this suffocating situation, I feel like I can't expressed myself, I feel like I'm drowning, In misery and in guilty, I've tried to help people, I've tried giving my love to those who needs it, But then why..... Why do I get taken advantage off.... I just don't get it... Its killing me... Its suffocating me.. I'm tired.... I'm drowning... I'm anxious... I want to help you..... so bad.... But I also feel like I have to take care of myself For once I have to say no.... It doesn't feel good at all... But the alternative is worst... If I don't learn how to.. then I'll be stuck in this circle...for a awhile.. I need to break free.... Since I've met you there are goods and bad things that has happened to me... The good stuff are good. but the bad stuff are worst then the good stuff.. We've fought a lot, You wanted things to be your way, I'm passive an...

I was talking to my mother yesterday, and was talking to shaz the day before that, I've realised that I've come from a very long and hard journey in the last couple of years. I felt as if I'm soo blessed and I've never really thought about it until circumstances shows up in my face. Talking to shaz and talking to my mom I've realised my ability to have a different outlook and point of view and try to be in other people's shoes. I have you god to thank for because you set up path and circumstances for me to follow through and gave me the chance to meet all the people that matters and help me to become a better person. I'm thankful that You've given me Steven, Yu shan and all of the other people I've met in my life. They all mean so much to me. And all of them have thought me to become a better person. Thank you for filling my life with a bunch of friends and influential people that helps me find my direction in life. Thank you for giving me the gift...

To my future self, I hope one day when you see this list, you'll manage to cross out most of the list. Always remember that in life, we need a little excitement. Because we're Gemini! My Bucket List  Skydiving Climb a mountain Be two place at the same time Go some place where I have a chance to stargaze Reach 55KG Scuba Diving Climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge Be Famous Travel around the World See Aurora Wealthy Own a Porsche/Mercedez Work in another country Find awesome group of friends Find the Love of my Life Have beautiful Children Have beautiful family Be good in starcraft Play a musical Instrument Be on TV Study Overseas Undergraduate Graduate from UNSW Make a meaningful in life Tried out modelling  Was Rusk hair model Fly in a helicopter Go Backpacking Own an Ipad Own a business Tough personality Strip Club Driving a racing car Own a mansion Go kayaking or rapid canoeying Fishing Trapeze Sydney Trapeze School Go see the seven wonder...

I have a list of names that I would like to name my kids one day. But I can never remember them all. Perhaps I should write it down in my Blog. Naima Aurora Yurie Hime Evangeline Lily Lohki Maria Luciana Luciela Irukandji Meredith Linali or Rinali Ivan Ryu Lucas Nathan or Nathaniel, Hailey Khalessi Silas (Some sort of japanese name)